First, you can argue against the BOM all day. You can point to Joseph
Smith
with an accusing finger and scream "liar" , "Polygamist", or whatever.
You
can argue regarding Nephites and Geography. While all of this will
probably push a few people, who's faith is waining , out the church door -
it will not sway those who truly believe they are where they belong in the
LDS church. I am one of those people. Would you like to argue that only
low IQ's remain in the LDS church because we do not allow all of these
arguments to sway our faiths? OK, go ahead. How weak would one's faith
be
if it were so easily swayed? The fact is, my ward is populated with
successful businessmen, physicians of several medical specialties and even
teenagers who are at the top of their cl***** academically. I know very
few
people that are uneducated or aflicted with low IQ's. My IQ is 130. That
isn't MENSA material but it isn't "short bus" qualifications either. I
have
3 university degrees. 1 is a PhD.
Why do I remain LDS? To answer that you would need to understand why I
joined in the first place. I was born and raised a Southern Baptist.
When I was 15 I attended something the Baptists call a "revival" that
lasted
for a week. I was shown a video called "Burning Hell". It was a
dramatization intended to frighten people into salvation. It worked, or
so
I thought. I was so frightened that I was going to Hell that I broke the
sound barrier during the alter call. I was baptised a few days later. A
few months after that I realized that I was decieved. The minister of
that
church was aware that he needed to bring as many new members into the fold
as possible in order to justify a pay increase. Also, at the age of 15,
most people do not realize that you can't FRIGHTEN someone into salvation.
Even a non-Christian is afraid of Hell. Who in their right mind would not
be? There is a difference between loving and being committed to Christ
and
being afraid of Hell. There is no place in the Bible that says, "All who
are afraid of Hell are therefore saved from it." It does not say that
because it is not true. Oddly enough, I still believed the message of
Christianity was valid even though I was dissapointed and even a little
bitter about my Southern Baptist experience. A few years later (in my
mid
20's) I realized that there was something missing in my life. I knew what
it was. I needed to find the TRUTH. I needed to know where I belonged
(spiritually).
I spent the next 15 years searching. I made it known to friends and
associates that I was basically Christian but not a member of any
denomination. Further, I was "seeking". Of course, as you might guess, I
was invited to attend services with everyone who became aware of my
spiritual position and God bless them all for responding. That wasn't
rhetorical. I truly feel that way towards all of them. I also knew quite
a
few LDS members who were very open regarding their faith and when an
honest
question was posed - they answered honestly and rationally. Although they
never "pushed" me to join their church, they were always THERE. They
always took a sincere interest in me. When one asked me how my day was
going
I knew in my heart that it was not a rhetorical question. They really
wanted to know. On many occasions I found that they "covertly" took
action
to improve my situation like older brothers. But they did not tell me
about
it. I would sometimes find out months later from someone else I worked
with
or asociated with. They never preached or judged others. The lived their
faith through service. And most im****tantly they did it EVERY DAY, not
just
on Sunday. I was impressed by that. However, all that "Joseph Smith"
stuff
seemed very far out on the fringe to me. So I never even gave LDS a
second
thought. It was my position that whether their religion was true or pure
BS - these were good men of good character and I admired them for it.
They
were dependable, honest, and faithful whether their faith was true or not
and I truly believed that it was likely that their faith was false. I
never even considered LDS as an option. I investigated every denomination
over that long 15 year period. I made a lot of good friends along the way
whom I still keep in touch with and will never forget. But I never felt
like I truly belonged in their churches. So after 15 years, God and I had
a
final and very frank discussion on the matter. It was my position that I
have tried everything and found no place that rang true. I was quite sure
that the churches that depended upon fear of Hell as a recrutiment
technique
was as far from the truth as a loyal Muslim is from a ****k sandwich. And
it
even occured to me that he might have steered me in the right direction
but
I was to dense to see the truth. I asked that if this were the case,
please
make the truth morte clear to me. But at that point - I was tired and a
little dissapointed at the end of my search. I asked him to forgive me
if
I saw the truth and did not recognize it. And I told him that I still
wanted to know and recognize the truth although I had no idea where else
to
look. I resolved myself to simply read the Bible, do my best to live out
it's principles, keep praying honestly ... and wait. I feared that I
would
be a 1 man religion for the rest of my life. And finally I asked him 1
last
time to show me the truth. I then went on with my life. About a week
later I was engaged in a conversation with a friend of mine (Lutheran).
We
were discussing the character of some of our LDS associates at work. My
friend was not a fan of Mormonism at all. In fact he was openly counter
to
it. However, even he had to admit that these men were the most dependable
and pure hearted people in our company. He further had to admit that
these
men actually "lived" their faith 24/7. I reflected upon our conversation
for a while and began to see how these people who were accused of being
non-Christian were living the Christian life that many others only gave
lip
service to. They were:
1.) Hardworking in all their activities (spiritual or otherwise)
2.) Steadfastly generous to all in need never seeking rewards or even
thanks.
3.) Unfailingly forgiving towards others. Lord knows they had many
op****tunities to be forgiving.
4.) Their families were strong and loving. Divorce seemed to be rare
among
them.
5.) The fear of Hell did not seem to be a problem for them although the
idea
of going to Hell was constantly tossed in their face rudely.
6.) They were riteous without crossing the line into self-riteousness.
7.) Their salvation and love for Christ was not predicated by a fear of
damnation nor was damnation a necessary "sell point" for them.
7.) And most im****tantly, they knew how to turn the other cheek in
forgiveness as often as necessary. It was often necessary.
Oddly enough, it wasn't just these loyal LDS members that made an
impression
upon me. There was also a backslidden LDS member (often referred to as
"Jack Mormons") in our company. He was a drinker. He smoked a little.
His language was often a bit more colorful than was necessary. He had
actually left the church. He had not embraced another church though. I
asked him about this once and he explained that it would be a waste of
time
for him to seek another church. He knew the truth even though he was not
following it at the moment and he was sure that someday he would return to
the church (LDS). Seeking another church just because they would present
him with an easier lifestyle would not benefit him anymore than remaining
in
his current "Jack Mormon" mode. I had known others who hade left their
churches (myself included) who never seemed to be pulled back to the
churches they left as he was. Most left their churches for what ever
reason
and never looked back. He was not only looking back but positive in his
own
mind that he would someday turn around and return to the church.
Skipping ahead - I investigated LDS. I was baptised. I am now an Elders
Quorum Secretary in my ward. Believe it or not - when I joined and even
when I was baptised I was not completely sure that Joseph Smith was a true
prophet. And to be honest I DID NOT CARE. Dogma was not so im****tant to
me
anymore. Dogma is very likely to blame for my LONG path as a Christian
seeker. Arguments over DOGMA confuses issues more than clarify them. To
me - TALK WAS CHEAP. Talk is still cheap to me. The proof is in the
putting. Begining with those LDS members that I once worked with and
ending
with almost every LDS member that I have come to know since - this church
and a sincere effort on the part of evey individual to follow it's tenets
has lead to an enrichment of their lives. It inevitably leads to happier
families, a vastly greater capacity to forgive, a deeper sense of
community
and a committment to improve same. And most im****tantly (to me at least)
a
true love for God Almighty and his son Jesus Christ, a true and
undisputable
experience of the Holy Ghost along with the resultant personal revelation
in
every instance where it is needed. Again, the proof is in the putting.
Talk is cheap. Results are the proof of validity. Talk is all I found
anywhere else. I say all these things in the name of Jesus Christ - the
only begotten son of God and our redeemer.
In closing, there was once a day when reading alt.religion.mormon may have
lead me to feel harshly towards it's member****p. Those days are long
gone.
Whether you are a former LDS member or simply a member of another church
who
has chosen to speak out as a Mormon detractor - I bare you know ill will
or
malace. If you are sincerely concerned because you feel that LDS members
like myself are mislead (and some of you clearly fit this description) -
thank you for your concern. I truly appreciate your concern for me as a
stranger. Whether we agree on this topic or not - your concern speaks
well
of your character. If you are doing so as an attack in a spirit of
bitterness (and again, some clearly are), I forgive you, seriously. I do.
I hope you all find what you are looking for as I did, regardless of what
that might be. It is my belief as it is the belief of my church that we
are
all spiritual brothers and sisters even if we are on different spiritual
paths. You are seeking to return to Heavenly Father's presence as I am.
God bless and keep you all on your paths.
Yours very truly,
Ron Boutwell, PhD
Active LDS member
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