Our built in psychological response to threatening situations is to
either fight or flee. If we think we can manage to overcome whatever
or whoever is causing us problems we choose to fight, and otherwise we
flee. This fighting or fleeing is basically aimed at preserving our
status quo. We don't like to be forced to make any changes in our life
and so we respond in ways that can hopefully avoid changes.
For example, when we face criticism we try to defend ourselves by
insisting that it is not true or justified, or by saying that the
critic has more things to deal with in his own life. This is
'fighting.' We don't want to take that criticism and we are doing all
we can to deny it. On the other hand if the criticism strikes us to
the core and there is no way to deny it we can get into a depression
over it and pity ourselves. Both times we are refusing to face the
criticism and see if there is any need to make changes to our life.
We Christians who acknowledge that we are sinful and imperfect should
deal with criticism differently, shouldn't we? We say we want to
become more and more like Jesus and admit that we are far from that
goal. But what we do in actual practice is to try and avoid every
chance of finding out what exactly is wrong with us and what we can do
about it.
Is this because admitting our faults might take away or crack the
foundation of our self-righteousness on which we are resting? If
recognition or admission of our faults or lacks can cause our self
esteem to crumble we must realise that our foundation of grace is very
weak or absent even if we profess the doctrine of grace in theory. Let
us take a look at one incident in the life of Jesus.
Shortly before His time for betrayal and death Jesus took a basin of
water and a towel and proceeded to wash His disciples' feet. The Bible
says that He did this "knowing that the Father had given all things
into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back
to God" (Jn.13:3). In other words He knew who He was, what His
relationship was with the Father, and what His task was. He was sure
of Himself. This permitted Him to have enough 'margin' to step down
and humble Himself before the disciples without any threat to His self
esteem.
When we find it difficult to admit our faults it shows that we are not
secure. Hasn't God accepted us just as we are, 'warts and all,' when
we put our trust in Jesus? (Ro.5:8). Aren't we His children? When He
chose us before the foundation of the world He knew what sinners we
would be. Is any sin that we see a surprise to Him? Isn't the blood of
Jesus sufficient to forgive the sins of the whole world? (1Jn.2:2).
Then why are we afraid that admitting some sin might shake the
foundation of our salvation?
But when we know with what large heart God has accepted us, we are
also able to honestly accept our failures and go on to change our ways
(Je.31:3)).
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