If the failed 21/7 bombers had just waited three more days, we'd all be
calling them the 24/7 bombers. This would imply that they blow things up
all
day every day and, despite their actual lack of success, make them at
least
sound like they were good at bombing.
Christina Martin, London
I just saw a van drive by with the company name 'Seafood Solutions'. I
must
admit, I didn't know seafood was a problem.
Martin Kristos
It is said that gentlemen prefer blondes. I hope then that lesbians prefer
brunettes, otherwise we might have to organise some kind of rota system.
Johnny Pring
I'm beginning to think there may be something in this climate change after
all. Four months ago it was very cold and now it's quite warm.
Alan Heath
A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that
'God would make her better.' presumably, that's a different God from the
one
that almost killed her with a tornado.
M Lovejoy
'She can dish it out, but she cannot take it', I once heard someone say of
me. And it's true - I'm a school dinner lady and I'm allergic to mashed
potatoes.
Mrs Pinches, Hereford
I heard on the news that the January storms had cost this country a
billion
pounds. What an utter waste of money. If anything, they did more harm than
good.
S Prodnipple, Scarborough
So Princes Harry and William are throwing a party to celebrate the 10th
anniversary of their mother's death. I'm glad that they can finally laugh
about it, but throwing a party seems a bit harsh.
D Antarctica, Rhyll
I think Sir Paul McCartney should try to put his current predicament into
perspective. In olden days, if you were unfortunate enough to be robbed by
an omniped, it would almost certainly be a pirate. At least he's going to
come out of this alive.
Stella Matlock
What is it with diabetics? One minute they're on the floor with a loved
one
standing by screaming 'Give him some chocolate! Give him some chocolate!'
The next day someone offers them a piece of chocolate and quick as a flash
they say 'No thanks, I'm diabetic.' I wish they'd get their story
straight.
T Potter
Yesterday I received an e-mail from a bored housewife looking for some
action. Eager to please the young lady I sent her my ironing. That should
keep her quiet for a while.
Warren
THIS new police knife amnesty is a bloody nightmare. I dutifully handed
all
my knives in and now I've got nothing to eat my dinner with.
Richard Karslake, Oxford****re
TO THE zookeeper in 1978 who replied 'I'll tell you when you're older'
when
I asked him why one of the monkeys stuck its tongue up another one's arse:
I'm 36 now and still waiting for that explanation.
Joe McKeown
I HAVE just returned from a diplomatic trip to the Congo and I can testify
that at no point did I see anyone drinking Um Bongo.
Neil Palmer
I'M A terrorist, and when ID cards come into force I will probably employ
great cunning and not declare that as my job. I'll probably say I'm a
grocer
or something.
A Terrorist
WHY DON'T NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their
attention to hygiene and constant hand wa****ng would see an end to MRSA
outbreaks in no time.
Stu Bray
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says.
Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
Colum Hill
'Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak', sang Thin Lizzy in 1976,
'somewhere
in this town'. Well, I'm guessing it's going to be at the prison.
Raymond
--
moslem cartoon character mohammad and his bumchum allaah were child
molesting goat ****ers and nikomaks
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/'_'/' '/'__'7,
/'/ / / /" /_\
('( ' /' ')
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Up your ass mohammad - Elif air ab tizak!!!
info@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
or apache@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
or
politicsIranian@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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