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Religion > Christian in Australia > Ten Verses Neve...
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Ten Verses Never Preached On

by "Mark T" <snailmail@[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Feb 3, 2008 at 01:50 PM

Ten Verses Never Preached On

Written Dec 5th, 2006 by Josh Rives ...

10. 2 Kings 2:23-24 NKJV

  Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road,
some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, "Go up,
you
baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" So he turned around and looked at them,
and
pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears
came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

Comments: George Costanza envokes the wrath of God.

9. Mark 14:51-52 NASB

  A young man was following Him, wearing nothing but a linen sheet over
his
****d body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and
escaped ****d.

Comments: Possibly the first streaker in history.



8. Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV

  No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall
enter the assembly of the Lord.

Comments: We can't just be letting anyone in. We have to draw the line
somewhere.

7. Genesis 38:8-10 NASB

  Then Judah said to Onan, "Go in to your brother's wife, and perform your
duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother."
Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his
brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give
offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of
the LORD; so He took his life also.

Comments: Not only do you have to carry the body out, but you have to mop
the floor too.



6. 1 Samuel 18:25-27 ESV

  Then Saul said, "Thus shall you say to David, 'The king desires no
bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be
avenged of the king's enemies.'" Now Saul thought to make David fall by
the
hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it
pleased David well to be the king's son-in-law. Before the time had
expired,
David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the
Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full
number to the king, that he might become the king's son-in-law. And Saul
gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.

Comments: How do you present a gift like that? Do you tie a bow on the
box?

5. Exodus 4:24-25 NASB

  Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him
and sought to put him to death. Then Zip****ah took a flint and cut off her
son's foreskin and threw it at Moses' feet, and she said, "You are indeed
a
bridegroom of blood to me."

Comments: I imagine the son was screaming in pain and Moses just kinda
stared at it in disgust.

4. Ezekiel 16:17 NIV

  You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold
and
silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution
with them.

Comments: What did she do with her gold and silver idols?



3. Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET

  Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth
when
she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their
genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as
strong as that of stallions.

Comments: Can't wait to hear this taught from a pulpit.

2. Judges 3:19-25 ESV

  And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right
thigh,
and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade,
and
the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his
belly; and the dung came out.

Comments: Apparently the sword pierced all the way through and something
unexpected came out the other side. The author felt this was a necessary
detail to include.

1. Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB

  If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the
wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who
is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you
shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.



  from http://www.churchhopping.com/ten-verses-never-preached-on/


-- 
MY BLOG - MARK T - my thoughts on Christianity & links
http://www.blognow.com.au/strooth/

MY SOUNDCLICK PAGE- download my original songs in mp3 format
http://www.soundclick.com/marktindall

FUNDY FUNHOUSE -
http://fundamentalistfunhouse.blogspot.com/
- a resource on the current Fundamentalist Dark Age and Christian 
fundamentalism.
 




 1 Posts in Topic:
Ten Verses Never Preached On
"Mark T" <sn  2008-02-03 13:50:15 

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tan12V112 Wed Aug 20 16:24:41 CDT 2008.