GENTLE THOUGHTS FOR TODAY.
Birds of a feather flock together and poop on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL."
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to
blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's
really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for
it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that
wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS"
together it spells "Theirs"?
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people
to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of
the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra. [Why? Algebra was one of the interesting subjects in
school. Now, if it had said History ...]
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such
a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was
called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth ...
AMEN
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