Here are some recent classified ads:
1-MAN, 7-WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE ... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
FREE PUPPIES ... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG
2 WIRE-MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger. PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L,
AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED ... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
FREE YORK****RE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FULL-SIZED MATTRESS. 20-YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
FREE 1 CAN OF ****K & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3-BR, 2-BATH HOME.
FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED CALL CHUBBIE
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN-MADE PRODUCTS"
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT. BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER
BE REWARD.
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2-1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
HARRISBURG POSTAL-EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND
FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON
HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE
CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY
ARE DEAD.
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN-SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
JOINING ****IST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
BAR S SLICED BALOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2
OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box
FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.
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