Dear <insert child's name here>:
Thank you for leaving one (01) tooth under your pillow last
night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in
the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable
to process your request for the following reason(s)
indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of
our visit
( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory or
were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:
Instead of the usual redemption, we have provided the following
certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store
near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to
serving you in the future.
Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
----------------------------------------------------------------
Reverse parts of the user name and ISP name for my e-address
