The Top 13 Changes Under a Government Run by Pro Wrestlers
13. Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now
considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.
12. President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his
face 18 inches from TV camera.
11. IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto
enema.
10. Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of
posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or
manners - Hey, wait a minute...
9. Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the big-
gest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.
8. *** scandals now involve even skankier women.
7. January 20: Inauguration ceremonies January 21: FDA approves
over-the-counter sale of steroids
6. Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of
the house.
5. During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman
wielding a folding chair.
4. Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch
of Skoal.
3. Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.
2. Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.
1. Before: Mr. Vice President; After: Stone Cold Richard Cheney
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