My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her
first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed
one of the cabinet doors was ajar.
I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why
she was keeping "napkins" in the bathroom. Didn't they
belong in the kitchen?
Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me
that those were for "special occasions" (her second
mistake).
Now fast forward a few months ... It's Thanksgiving Day,
and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife
for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they
were gone. Mine was to set the table.
When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately
burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then
began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with
laughter.
Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw
each place setting on the table with a "special occasion"
Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged
on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't
hang off the edge!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my
response sent the other adults into further fits of
laughter.
"But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!"
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