Dog Food
The next time someone asks you a dumb question, wouldn't you
like to respond like this?
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
Athena, my wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check
out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she
think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired, with little
to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was
going to try it again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive-care ward with tubes coming out of
me and IVs in both arms. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter
and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack, he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
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