[Humor from the Net regrets having to bring this
sad message to you.]
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the
entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy
died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumatic
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He
was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased
coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay
their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave
site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly
described Doughboy as a man who never knew how
much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his
later life was filled with turnovers. Sadly, he
wasn't considered to be a very smart cookie, wasting
much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite
being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty
old man and was considered a positive roll model for
millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two
children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had
one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly
father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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