I was a slanderer of Jesus Christ until the age of 40, completely rejecting
his divinity. I purposely ridiculed and rejected the truth. But the love
of
God was so great, that he sought, found and saved me.
In 1962, while writing a copy of my sermon for the mosque I meditated over
a
verse of the Sura al-Ma'ida 5:68, which says:
"Say, O people of the Book! You will be nothing unless you uphold the
Torah
and the Gospel, and all that is revealed to you from your Lord."
I had read this verse a hundred times, but at last God whispered to my
soul
that the "Torah and the Gospel" which are mentioned in the Qur'an are the
same Torah and Gospel found in the Bible now. I had always thought that
the
Torah and Gospel mentioned in the Qur'an no longer existed physically, and
that their contents had been summarized in the Qur'an. I was convinced
that
the Torah and the Gospel, which form the Bible now were false, and that
the
original contents had been misarranged, forged or added to by people.
However, my soul told me that the Torah/Gospel now presented in the Bible
is
true. My mind constantly opposed this inner voice: "No! The Torah and the
Gospel in the Bible have been falsified." My thoughts contradicted my soul
and conscience, and I became uncertain and doubtful as to what was right.
To make peace with my conscience, I took the problem to midnight worship
(tahjud-prayer), which is a prayer to God requesting definite signs for
the
truth. I wanted God to help me recognize which of the two beliefs was
right.
This was my prayer:
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