ignore the word of Jiffy at your peril
***
One day Mrs. Smith went to have a talk with the
minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I
have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during
your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I
do?"
"I have an idea", said the minister. "Take this hatpin
with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Smith is
sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.
When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In the church the following Sunday, Mr. Smith dozed
off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work.
"And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?" he said,
nodding to Mrs. Smith.
"Jesus!" Smith cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg
with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Smith," said
the minister.
Soon, Mr. Smith nodded off again. Again, the minister
noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the
congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Smith. "God!" Mr.
Smith cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin
"Right again," said the minister, smiling.
Before long, Mr. Smith again winked off. However, this
time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the
tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs.
Smith mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with
the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam
after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Smith poked her
husband, who yelled, "You stick that damned thing in
me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove
it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
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