Not too long ago in a news group far far away...
All we ever really wanted to do was just talk about stuff with other
people
that wanted to talk about stuff. Sooner or later everyone figured out that
somebody else created an ingenious nifty way of talking about the same
stuff
that everyone else wanted to talk about, even though nobody wanted to talk
about the same stuff (ingenious!) Fortunately for everyone, nobody didn't
want to talk about what some people thought wasn't im****tant enough to
talk
about until someone (yuppers, Murphy predicted it would happen) figured
out
how to forget what a clue was. Now while that was pretty much okay with
everyone else since it didn't happen to them, it did make for the makings
of a new kind of conundrum since without a clue what he forgot he figured
out, someone got lost and started crying.
Somehow without a clue, something else got wedged someplace and this poor
pathetic soul got an idea that if nobody was talking about what he didn't
have a clue about that EVERYBODY must be afraid of him and whatever it was
that got wedged someplace. While the fact remains that this did NOT
destroy
the universe somehow, it did sort of balance out the nifty genius of what
somebody else had created. So now that i've been introduced to what nobody
really cares about, i've become better edumacated on how to make sure to
mention what nobody talks about for the pristine purpose of not really
caring,
just like nobody else.
Well, i'm a hetero***ual. Did you know i'm a hetero***ual? Do you give a
rat's
ass? I'm so sorry i said that. I meant, do you give a hetero***ual rat's
ass?
That's better. I like to go fi****ng. I use a***ual worms for bait. If i
start
digging around and find homo***ual worms then that's okay with me so i
shove
a hook up their ass and out their mouths and toss them in the river just
like
i would if i'd dug up an a***ual worm. You see, there aren't any
hetero***ual
worms since they are all the same gender. But i just wanted to let you
know
that personally, i treat homo***ual worms just the same as i do a***ual
worms.
And the bigger the worm, the better the bait. Hell, if i find me a big
enough
worm, even if it's homo***ual, i squeeze it in half and hook half of it up
and
let the other half writhe in pain waiting for the other half to drown if
it
doesn't get eaten.
Now about queer worms... basically, they are all queer because they are
either
****ing each other or ****ing themselves and nobody really cares. The fish
don't
care at all, and the fish will taste just as much like ***** if you catch
them
using a queer worm or just a regular old worm that ****s itself. Usually
they
don't **** themselves unless they can't find any other worms to talk to.
Then
they pretty much **** themselves big time by going off to other places and
trying
to get other kinds of God's good creatures to **** themselves as well.
That
usually doesn't work for them, though, which is why they are basically
just
****ed up. But anyhow, the fish don't care and still taste like good
*****.
When you're cleaning the fish, what's left of the queer worm is just
something
bloody you can scrape out with your knife and looks sort of like a
hemorrhoid.
And you MUST use a knife because there are no straight worms. There used
to be,
but God was smart enough to make straight creatures that wouldn't ****
themselves,
and any of them that did all died off from diseases and abnormal cross
breeding.
Now be sure to correct me if i'm wrong here, but wouldn't a gay-queer worm
be a
queer worm that ****ed itself backwards because i'm pretty sure that a
normal
queer ****s other queers so a gay-queer worm would probably have to ****
itself
ass backwards, right? Let me know how that works if you know, okay?
Now recently, it has come to my attention that some gay-queer worms get
told by
normal queer worms that being ****ed up is "bad". Bad is like this
condition that
is worse than good, or better than just plain ****ed up. Every once in
awhile a
gay-queer worm will actually believe the other worms, get all depressed
and start
crying. The other worms will start leaving him alone and then
uh-ohhhhhhhh...
yuppers, sure enough the little gay-queer worm will go poking around
sniffing
in other worm's holes and cry and cry trying to get ****ed instead of
****ing
himself ass backwards like God intended. So the more the gay-queer worm
cries
looking for attention in other worms' holes, the more the other worms try
and
think of ways to hold their noses, but they can't since God didn't make
any for
them. IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT!!! (i looked it up on the innernet.) Sooner
or later
some worm looks around to see what's looking up its ass only to discover
this
pathetic gay-queer worm following it around like a realistic genuine
bonafide
innernet stalker (booooo hissss omfgwhatamigonnadonowdiediediediedie!)
Anyhow, i just wanted to let you know that homo***ual worms are okay with
me, and
i'll stick a hook up their ass just like any other worm, but if they are
all
depressed and crying like these stalking gay-queer worms (SGQW) then even
the
damned fish don't want to eat them! And that isn't just bad, its plain
****ed
up, almost as ****ed up as the damned SGQW! If a guy can't catch fish then
Jebeezus,
don't ya know that he'll prolly have to buy beer for a fat skank in a bar
just to
get the fish flavor in his mouth. That's how i found out that there's a
whole
associety of SGQW out there practically like a plague, but then i
discovered
the Mother's Against Stalker Gay-Queer Worms Association, and guess what!
They don't even spam!
I'll stop posting about SGQW now because i don't want to depress you
anymore
than necessary. I really don't mind queer worms or a***ual worms, like i
said,
but stalker gay-queer worms that **** themselves ass backwards are going
to
drive up the price of beer! Dumb**** SGQW's got no ****ing clue what's
im****tant.
--
Sup****t the Mother's Against Stalker Gay-Queer Worms Association
Give generously! http://deadbeef.lol33ta.com/DeadBeef
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