Laughter is the Best Medicine
This humour is written in the ancient tongue of Queen English.
* I dedicate this section to her, a strong and kind person forged
in World War II.
* I was inspired by the prophets of Monty Python and Doctor Who.
E&OE
---
Humour: Prophet of Impending Doom
Brothers and Sisters: I saw the light of Deity!
Behold my vision of our past, present, and future.
Sinners, repent!
Repent from the Seven Sins, slay the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,
slay the Beast:
The Beast is Hubris. Slay Hubris!
If Justice is not served, you will feel the wrath of karmic
retribution as a cyclone twisting everything in its path! The tree of
liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots
and tyrants.
Then slay the other beasts in turn! Until only the divine light of
Deity remains!
May the holy prime numbers (1, 2, 3, 5, 7...) and their many imperfect
multiples (4, 6, 9, 12, ...) guide you in your way!
See its Invisible Hand on your body: Look at your hands and feet.
Look at yourself in the mirror! Marvel at the work of Deity! Despair
at the work of Demon.
Do not wish for a Genie too much. You will ruin the lamp by rubbing
too hard! Aladdin himself can beat his foes, by his wits and fists
alone.
Be like Sinbad the Sailor or Odysseus! Strong and wise! Inspired by
Deity against the Beast.
Marvel at the writings and teachings of your wise ancestors:
* Moses, Abraham, Christ!
* Pandora, Scheherazade!
* Heinlein, Frank Herbert!
* Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Goofy!
* Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, ****ky Pig!
WE = DEITY + DEMON + BEAST + GENIE + ALADDIN + SINBAD + ...
I pray for the full spectrum light of Deity to illuminate your path
like a laser.
Like a pair of laser pointers beamed at the eyes! Nay, like a plasma
rifle burst between the eyes!
Feel the mighty power of Deitys multiple laser beams and all seeing
eye! Unite and focus as one!
Have Hope! I shall bring you the holy scriptures next! Deity has
inspired me!
---
Humour: Nat King Cole Universal Bible
Dedicated to the memory of Nat King Cole. African-American King of
Jazz music. You made us sad, you made us happy, you made us proud.
Play in peace with the angels brother!
Ancient Testament
Hope
Hope is Light. Light is Hope. The Hope which defeats Fear! The Hope
which defeats Darkness! The Hope which defeats Chaos!
Light is Energy which powers the Earth and feeds your body and mind.
Past
Do not fear the dead. The dead are buried or turned into ashes,
compost for the living, they live only in the hearts and minds of the
people they left behind. By their writings and teachings. If you must
fear someone, fear the living.
People have travelled by day, or night, whenever there was light
throughout the ages. They gazed at the Sun by day, the Moon, the Stars
at night. They struggled against the beasts in their environment when
there was Light. People struggled at close range with their fists and
feet against the beasts, we kept them at distance with sticks, spears,
stones, bone, muscle, copper, bronze, iron, steel. We ****elded our
vital body parts with our arms and legs, then made better ****elds.
We spat at them just out of disgust. Like a Cowboy chewing tobacco or
an Arab at someone they dislike.
So it was that we killed Saber-toothed cats, our natural competitor,
while coopting Cats.
So it was that we fought against Wolves, our natural competitor, while
coopting Dogs.
It was a matter of survival, us or them.
We fight to shape the Earth. To make it a Garden of Eden.
The Asians have a saying:
* Q: What will happen when the best spear in the world spars with
the best ****eld in the world?
* A: They will both shatter and be destroyed.
Yet that which does not kill us makes us stronger.
For this the military makes war games. So that the few can teach the
many. But lessons go unlearned. Hubris. No war game is a replacement
for live fire practice.
When the Africans in South Africa had a dispute, they each sent their
champions to spar, in a fight to the death. The victor was considered
the winner. They remained divided and split. Like flocks of chicken,
led by bulls.
Then Shaka Zulu came and united the tribes by spear and blood. The
British had to fight fiercely against him. He used their gunpowder
weapons, for he could see their power, even if they seemed like magic
to him. He knew that to be truly powerful, he had to make his own
weapons, learn the magic of the English, yet he failed. He trusted in
shamans instead of craftsmen. He was land locked and the knowledge was
in distant lands. He did manage to get concessions from the English
that last today however.
The Irish and Indians managed to fight back the British Empire by
winning their hearts and minds, and engaging in a bloody struggle.
They used weapons because mere words did not convince their opponents.
Their opponents felt confident in Hubris. The English thought they
were the new Roman Empire and everyone else was a bunch of Barbarians.
But a pack of Wolves can defeat a Lion.
After Commodore Perry impressed them with a show of force the Japanese
were made aware they were backwards and outdated. So they learned the
ways of the West and adapted them to fit their own customs. Yet they
were still inflated with Hubris.
The Japanese felt that since Kublai Khan had failed, because of good
fortune and a Kamikaze, they could fight the United States and win. It
took a pair of atomic bombs to convince them otherwise. The Japanese
massacred the Chinese and Koreans. Now both these people hate the
Japanese, while the Japanese feel they are getting soft and weak.
The House of Habsburg Empire collapsed because of inbreeding. Too much
inbreeding leads to a monoculture which does not resist to an outside
threat. Such was the fate of the peoples of Europe with the Black
Plague.
We must not forget our violent past: or else we will grow soft and
weak of body and mind. We are a Warrior people. History repeats
itself, and a wise person learns from prior mistakes and corrects its
course. I believe it is for this reason people enjoy Zoos and Safaris.
It brings them closer to Nature.
If we can see further today, it is because we stand on the shoulders
of our ancestors.
Future
This is not the only star in the universe. It is hubris to think we
are alone. If we are alone now, it is because either they cannot reach
us, they do not wish to reach us, or they wish to hide their presence
from us. I believe in the theory of panspermia.
We must not fear the future. As we are born, it is certain we will all
die someday, and none of us can prevent it. Yet life expectancy seems
to keep increasing with time. People seem to have more food and drink
today than in the past. The sterile get pregnant. The blind can see.
Present
We may need to take one step back to take two steps forward. Correct
our course. We may fall, but we can rise up again. A journey of a
thousand steps begins with a single step. Plans are useless, but
planning is essential.
* Live earnestly and sincerely, for the Truth will set you free
and release you from your burdens.
* If you feel disoriented and confused at your future, set
measurable goals, within your grasp, and fight for them. Victory
conquers Fear. Adding little to little makes a great pile.
* There is strength in union. Seek companions which are better
than you, so that they push you on the way up. A piece of rope, a
bunch of different strings bound together, is stronger than a single
fiber. Each one of us has their own specialities. We are all brothers
and sisters, united in diversity, fed by Hope and Jazz.
* Try to rub off some of your knowledge to the people you care and
love, to those who are willing to learn.
* If you are the best at your band for quite some time, perhaps it
is time to quit and leave for a better band. You will learn more
there.
Body and Mind
* Take care of your body. For the body is the house of the soul.
* Cleanse your mind from Doubt and Fear. Be like the tranquil
waters of a lake, connected to the ocean.
* Drink from the fountain of wisdom of our ancestors, and people
better than us, to fill the mind.
* Charity starts at home. You must be strong so you can lift up
our brothers and sisters.
Dialog
The path to common understanding is earnest and frank dialogue. With
crystal clear arguments and harmonic saxophone playing.
Earth
The Earth is our Cradle and Garden. We should love and nurture our
planet.
Our Future Lies in the Stars
* We are all children, and the Earth is the cradle of humanity.
* Our Sun will die eventually. We must not put all our eggs in the
same basket. Humanity must become a multi planet species and spread
far and wide.
* For this we need to boost our senses, learn how to live in harsh
environments, and solve the Energy problem.
* The Universe is a big and dark place. Don't panic!
Apocalypse
* You will not fill your mind of hubris and turn your back away
from the knowledge of your predecessors:
A shaman would say: the spirits of Nature are restless! Mother
Earth is running a fever! The cause is pollution of its body. We must
stop putting out filth, polluting the oceans and the air, or we may
suffer from mass extinction. I suspect we are polluting the water.
Water is life. The ocean is sick. Ridden with filth. Coral is dying
from acidity, plankton levels are decreasing. We have turned our ocean
into a swamp! We may risk getting swamp gas outbursts and suffocate
like cattle in a flame of methane.
We should clean the swamp! As Peter the Great did to create Saint
Petersburg.
* You will not make a machine (biological or mechanical) in your
own image and resemblance. You will create a Beast, and risk being
enslaved by your own creation. If it p***** a Turing Test, when it
kills a human being, triggered by its own buggy software or hardware,
put it out of its misery and aim for the brains. Shoot to kill and
demand to see its dead head on a spike.
* Do not self-mutilate yourself: there are plenty of resources
(e.g. time, energy, space). There is plenty of space below: 71% of the
Earth surface is ocean. There is plenty of space above as well. Reach
to the stars if necessary. Do not inbreed. Beware of genetic
engineering. Natural selection has served us well so far. Keep it
simple!
* Have faith in the human body and mind.
* Whenever everything seems horrible and dark, whenever humanity
will feel threatened, the better angels of our hearts will rise up,
like a jazz band, playing the saxophones of victory in our minds,
throw down the walls of Jericho or Constantinople and stake the Beast
in the heart by full spectrum resonance of hearts and minds.
* The Earth shall be purified by fire. When the Sun corona ejects
and burns this place to a crisp in a zillion years.
* Then you will be in the Paradise of Nirvana. Reach the ultimate
state of equilibrium. The heat death of the Universe.
Peace be with you brother and sister!
|
