"Jacqueline" <jacquelinesummersDIESPAMDIE@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:8servvkr07sm3pndvhaa8896ousu7rqhfd@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> On Fri, 9 Jan 2004 04:43:20 +1100, "Robin" <comamute@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> wrote:
>
> >Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she
slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
> >
> [snip]
> lol! that's terrible!
> Nicked from another group...
> Nightmares 1, 2 and 3
> (Snip) Lol. Yes, a very high grossness quotient. But these must surely
rank as the Grossest World Records. (Don't blame me, I'm only passing them
on.)
(A) MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out
of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
(B) LONGEST HAIR
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches
from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.
(C) MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without
preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into
her vagina.
(D) ZITS
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England,
squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a
distance of 7ft 1inch.
(E) WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage
and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani
tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount
of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be
a potent aphrodisiac.
(F) MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York.
It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a
spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed,but
served with a tampon(unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and
is known as a 'C*nt Pump'.
(G) GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial'
amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the
greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or
muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.
(H) LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an
American who, produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr
12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The
offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
(I) MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart
for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds
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