"Jacqueline" <jacquelinesummers@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:3F5F5B50.7D20FF87@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Vic!!! Look everybody it's Vic!! She's alive!!! Funny, I was just
> talking about you the other day!
ooh, indeed? and yes i am alive! but only just. thank heavens for lemsip.
and sleep. i'm going away again tomorrow unfortunately so it may appear
once
again as if i am dead.
>
> > HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO. is this the worst joke in the world?
>
> Possibly.
right well. i'll tell you the rabbits one and then you can judge:
there was once a lovely little rabbit called fred.... oh i can't be arsed
going through the whole storytelling version. fred goes into the rabbit
bar
one day and orders a cheese toastie. very hungry is fred. eats the cheese
toastie and then orders another one. this time ham and pickle. but still
very hungry. not an especially large rabbit, is fred, but very busy all
day
and rabbit calories burn very fast and fred hasn't eaten since a meagre
breakfast of hay and poppyseeds. so fred orders another toastie, this time
pineapple and salami, and then another toastie, this time spinach and
ricotta, and then another toastie, this time brie and cranberrie, and then
another toastie, this time roasted vegetables and wensledale cheese, and
then another toastie, this time marmite and pickle... and then fred drops
down dead. fred is dead. fred's rabbit friend ted walks into the bar and
is
muchly distraught on realising the untimely death of his good rabbit
friend.
"fred, oh fred, why did you have to leave?!??" ed wails, tearing at his
rabbit ears. "why, fred, why??? WHY???"
and ed spends a long time lamenting and ranting to his rabbit god,
asserting
that he will never rest until he finds the reason as to why fred had been
torn so cruelly from his little rabbit world. and suddenly... the ghost of
fred reappears! wavering slightly above the bar. and ed says,
"oh, fred, but why did you die?"
and fred says,
"oh, don't worry, ed, i'm very happy up here... they have lots of
carrots...
and stuff..."
and ed says,
"well that's wonderful, but i want to know why, fred! why did you die?"
and fred looks a bit embarrassed, and says...
"well, you see.... i died of... mixin'me'toasties...."
HOHOHOHOHOHO. ahem. i love these jokes just because there's such a big
build
up to such a rubbish punch line...
>
> > mwahahahahahahahahaha. these jokes go down very well with confused and
> > intoxicated people at parties . did i already tell the one about the
rabbits
> > on this newsgroup? did i already tell this one? eh, anyway...
>
> Dunno, but did you know men with beards have spiders' legs in them?!
yes! i think i learnt that last time i was in barfing yak. and i told lots
of people. im****tant to spread this kind of information.
>
> > hello! hows things? what lovely kittens, jacqueline...
>
> Aww, ta, my babbies, I wub them.
aren't kittens just the best thing on earth? my friend's just got two
little
ones and they always look so surprised... and stupid...
>I'm fine! How's you?! I was up your
> neck of the woods today, not Aberdeen, the west end. I'm in love with
> mangoes from the wee ethnic food shop across from Hogshead on Woodlands
> Rd. Lovely mangoes. Mmmm.
ooh, how exciting! i live just around the corner from there! and walk
there
all the time. i have not tried those particular mangoes but must do.
>
> Look at that, all the way to the end of the email and no mention of
> Simon and Garfunkle.
ach i knew they had to come in somewhere though. ;) my friend works in a
record shop near charing cross - vinyl freaks, dunno if you know it? you
should pop in sometime, it's quite good fun. lots of rubbish eighties
records. wham. but anyway yes i quite often end up there when i'm bored
and
make him play stuff like... yes... simon and garfunkle! can't get away
from
them.
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