Pastor Page served us this...
> Dearly Beloved,
>
> Greetings in the Name of Jesus Christ the Saviour of the world. The
world truly needs Him (Jesus) now. Let's pray together:
>
> http://www.trinbapt.com
I need Jesus right now, Pastor Page! Could you please send him to my
house right now? I need saved, Pastor Page! I need saved right now this
early Friday morning! PLLEEAASSEE! I haven't cleaned my apartment in
three whole weeks, my toilet has just flooded my own **** all over my
bathroom floor, my refrigerator has leftover things that are growing
weird things that stink, and I've spilled orange juice and vodka all
over the kitchen floor! When I walk in there I get stuck to the
linoleum! So PLEASE send me Jesus, Pastor Page - I've heard that he is
*the* miracle worker and is renown for his wedding catering abilities!
My problem is that my girlfriend has unexpectedly called to say that she
will be spending Friday night at my house, so I need a *real* miracle
worker to clean my apartment and get the **** off my bathroom floor. If
I don't have my place cleaned to my girlfriend's high standards I won't
get one of her AAA #1 Blow Jobs! She gives a blow job like no other
woman, and I've ****ed over 500 females so I know of what I'm speaking.
So PLLEEAASSEE send Jesus right now, Pastor! I'm full of vodka and
opiates, so I'll be up till past sunup, so I'll be up when he gets here.
I'll leave the door unlocked in case I should pass out. if he can't wake
me, I'll leave the traditional cookies and milk for payment for a job
that I'm sure will be well done.
PS: Tell the Messiah not to be sticking around thinking that he's going
to get a blow job too, by the way. I don't care if he licks up all the
liquid **** on my bathroom floor, he ain't getting any. But I guess I
don't need to worry that I may need to kick his ass since I hear that
Jesus is into young men anyway. Anyway, get his ass over here right now
- chop chop!
--
St. Jackanapes
http://www.jackanapes.ws
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"Where knowledge ends, religion begins." - Benjamin Disraeli
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