In the latest installment of the sermon series entitled "No, that's NOT in
the Bible" David Dykes addresses forgiveness as taught in the Bible.
May God bless,
Carl
my website -- http://www.nettally.com/saints/
my blog -- http://www.anniemayhem.com/cgi-bin/wordpress/
----
To Err is Human; To Forgive Divine
by David O. Dykes
Col 3:12-13
12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against
one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
In the series entitled "No, that's NOT in the Bible" we discover some of
these pseudo-scriptures actually contradict the Bible. For instance,
believing the adage "God helps those who help themselves" can hinder a
person from seeking God's help. The aphorism "God won't put more on you
than
you can bear" can be dangerous because it can create confusion and guilt.
Have you ever heard someone say, "The Bible says, 'to err is human; to
forgive, divine?'" No, that's NOT in the Bible, but the statement is
basically true. We are all sinners. It's just part of our human nature. It
is part of God's divine nature to forgive, so when we forgive others, we
are
displaying a God-like quality. But because we are human we all err.
Actually, the correct pronunciation of the word "err" rhymes with "sir."
So,
we should say, "to urr is human; to forgive divine." But if I happen to
mispronounce it in this message, will you please act divinely and forgive
me?"
We all experience relationship problems in which we are hurt or offended,
so
we'd better learn how to forgive. Even people in the church don't always
get
along. Mike and I have a great relationship based on mutual love and
respect, but not every preacher and music director get along as well as we
do. I once heard the funny story of the minister of music who led songs
disagreeing with what the pastor was saying. For instance, one Sunday the
pastor preached on the importance of Christians moving out to share the
gospel with others. Immediately after the message the music director led
the
hymn, "We Shall not be Moved." The next week the pastor preached on the
importance of everyone giving more money, and the music director followed
it
with the hymn "Jesus Paid it All." The next week the pastor preached on
the
dangers of gossip and the song that followed was "I Love to Tell the
Story."
The pastor got so frustrated that Sunday night, he threatened to resign if
the music didn't change. The music director followed that with "O, Why not
Tonight?" Finally the pastor was so fed up that the next Sunday he said,
"I've
had it with this church. Jesus is leading me to leave and go to another
church." And the minister of music stood and said, "Let's all sing 'What a
Friend We have in Jesus!'"
The first part of this adage was a common Latin proverb "errare humanum
est." In 1711, the English Poet Alexander Pope wrote an "Essay on
Criticism" in which he made the statement "Good nature and good sense
must
ever join / To err is human; to forgive, divine."
Since that time there have been several interesting variations on Pope's
statement. Dog lovers claim: "To err is human; to forgive canine." Mae
West
was once quoted as saying, "To err is human, but it feels divine." For
anyone who works with computers today you'll agree: "To err is human-but
to
really mess things up you need a computer." Someone wisely observed, "To
err
is human, and to cover it up is too!"
One of the most powerful passages about forgiveness is found in Colossians
3:12-13, "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against
one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues
put
on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Because of our errors, we desperately need divine forgiveness. The Bible
teaches God loves us and offers us forgiveness as a free gift; it's part
of
God's nature to display this amazing grace.
In the Model Prayer Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our trespasses as
we forgive those who trespass against us." Accepting God's forgiveness is
a
lot easier than forgiving others who have hurt and offended us. In this
message I want to help you understand six important principles about
forgiveness.
1. FORGIVENESS IS NOT A FEELING-IT'S A DECISION
As we examine these six principles of forgiveness, can you think of anyone
at this moment who hurt you so deeply you are struggling with being able
to
forgive them? It may be an ex-spouse, or a former boss, or a family member
with whom you are currently estranged. Will you ask the Holy Spirit to put
a
person or situation on our hearts where you need to apply forgiveness?
You first objection may be, "But I don't feel like forgiving them." That's
okay, because God commands us to forgive those who sin against us, whether
or not we feel like forgiving them. If you wait until you "feel" like
forgiving that person, you may never get around to forgiving them. Like
agape-love, forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a decision. A maturing
Christian does not live by feelings, but by faith and obedience.
Forgiveness
is not a natural human trait.
William Willimon wrote: "The human animal is not supposed to be good at
forgiveness. Forgiveness is not some innate, natural human emotion.
Vengeance, retribution, violence, these are natural human qualities. It is
natural for the human animal to snarl and crouch into a defensive position
when attacked, to howl when wronged, to bite back when bitten. Forgiveness
is not natural."
When John Wesley was a missionary in Colonial America, he met General
James
Oglethorpe, governor of Georgia. As they discussed one of the governor's
enemies General Oglethorpe said, "I never forget and I never forgive." To
which John Wesley replied, "Then, sir, I hope you never sin." The only
person who can afford the luxury of unforgiveness is the person who never
needs forgiveness.
2. FORGIVENESS IS NOT FORGETTING-IT'S AN INTENTIONAL RELEASE
We've all heard the phrase "forgive and forget." That's misleading because
forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting. Or perhaps you've heard
someone say, "Well, I'll forgive, but I won't forget!" What they really
are
saying is, "I'm going to say 'you're forgiven' but I'm going to actively
remember what you did to me and I'll remind myself of it every time I hear
your name!" That's not real forgiveness.
Forgetting is a passive process in which a matter fades from our memory
with
the passing of time. We all forget things like names, telephone numbers,
and
birthdays. It's amazing how some men can forget their wedding anniversary
but can remember the score of the 1983 Super Bowl! You don't have to make
yourself forget something it just happens. And the older we get the more
there is to forget!
Someone said, "The human brain is an amazing organ. It starts working the
moment you're born and doesn't stop working until you stand up in front of
a
crowd to speak!" Seriously, it's good to forget. It would be terrible to
have all the memories we've ever had floating around on the surface of our
brain; our thinking would be even more cluttered!
Once an old elephant was drinking at a watering hold and spied a turtle.
The
elephant walked over and swatted the turtle across the pond with his
trunk.
A passing giraffe said, "Why did you do that?" The elephant said, "I
recognized that turtle as the one who took a nip out of my trunk 47 years
ago." The giraffe said, "Wow, you must have a great memory." The elephant
said, "Yes, I have turtle recall." (Remember, to pun is human; to forgive
divine!)
Isn't it interesting we forget all kinds of things, but we usually have
total recall when it comes to how other people mistreated us? Forgetting
is
passive, but forgiving is an active process in which you make a conscious
choice not to remember.
That's the way God forgives us. In Isaiah 43:25 God says, "I am he who
blots
out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sin no more."
It never says God forgets our sin, because God can't forget anything. God
is
a lot older than any of us can fathom, but He doesn't suffer senility or
dementia. When He forgives us, He simply chooses not to remember our sins
anymore.
Clara Barton was the American heroine who founded the Red Cross. Once a
friend reminded her of a vicious deed someone had done to her years
before.
Clara Barton acted as if she had never even heard of the painful incident.
Her friend asked, "Don't you remember it?" Clara Barton replied, "No, I
distinctly remember choosing to forget it."
When the first missionaries to the Eskimos were learning to translate
their
language, they discovered the Eskimo word for "forgive" was a multi-word
phrase: "issumagijoujungnainermik." It literally means
"not-being-able-to-think-about-it-anymore." That's what forgiveness
is-it's
not forgetting-it's choosing not to let the thoughts of that harmful
person
or their harmful deed consume your thinking.
One of the most liberating things you can do for yourself is to forgive
someone, to release them. Go ahead. Apply that principle to the person or
situation troubling you. Make a choice to let it go, and release them. The
great Baptist preacher from London, Charles Spurgeon, once wrote: "Forgive
and let it go. When you bury a mad dog, don't leave his tail above the
ground." That's what forgiveness is; you bury the deed in your
subconscious
and refuse to go digging for it.
3. FORGIVENESS IS NOT CHEAP-BUT IT'S BETTER THAN REVENGE
In Matthew 18 Jesus tells the parable of a manager who owed his boss
several
million dollars. The manager begged his boss to forgive his debt, and the
boss agreed. But then the forgiven manager went out and met a guy who owed
him $10. The man who had just been forgiven a multi-million dollar debt
refused to forgive this man who owed him $10! He grabbed him by the throat
and threatened him, and then he had him thrown in jail. When the Big Boss
heard about the manager's behavior, he had him thrown into jail until he
could pay off the millions he owed. The lesson there is obvious. Because
God
has forgiven us of a debt we could never pay, we should be willing to
forgive others, because nobody is as indebted to us as we are to God. But
we
also see forgiveness costs something. That forgiveness cost the boss
several
million dollars. God's forgiveness is free-but it's not cheap. In order to
purchase our pardon, Jesus paid with the gold of His blood, and the silver
of His tears.
It always costs something to forgive. If someone borrowed $1,000 from you
and you realize you'll never see it again, it costs you at least $1,000 to
forgive them. When you forgive someone, it costs you, too. But the cost is
much less than the price of revenge. You've probably seen the bumper
sticker
that says: I DON'T GET MAD; I GET EVEN. It is our nature to seek revenge.
You could say, "To err is human; and to seek revenge is too." In the
Merchant of Venice, Shakespeare has Shylock ask several human questions:
"If
you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you
poison us do we not die? If you wrong us shall we not seek revenge?"
("Merchant of Venice" III:1)
Sadly, there are people who are so full of hatred and animosity they will
use every opportunity to hurt others. Even in death, some people try to
extract revenge. Here are two actual bequests from the wills of two people
who wanted to get even: One woman stipulated in her will that "$1.00 from
my
estate be invested and the interest given to my husband as evidence of my
estimate of his worth." Ouch! That's low. Another woman left this
directive
in her will: "to my estranged husband I leave just enough money to enable
him to buy a rope to hang himself."
Jesus taught we should not be the kind of person who seeks to get even. In
Matthew 5:38-39 He said, "You have heard that it was said, 'eye for eye,
and
tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone
strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." "An eye for
an
eye" may sound cruel, but at the time this Old Testament law was given, it
was merciful. Human nature demands if someone blinds you in one eye, you
want to kill them. The Old Testament law taught limited revenge. If they
broke out your front tooth, you should limit your revenge to breaking out
their front tooth. But someone said "An eye for an eye would leave the
whole
world blind" so Jesus introduced the concept of grace-not responding in
anger, but giving people what they need-forgiveness. It was a
revolutionary
concept, and it still is. Forgiveness is expensive, but it's not nearly as
expensive as seeking revenge.
4. FORGIVENESS IS NOT EASY-IT'S IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT GODS' POWER
Forgiving someone who hurt you is one of the hardest things you'll ever
do.
I recently read the funny story about a man who was trying to cross a
street. As he stepped off the curb, a car came screaming around the corner
toward him. The man sped up to hurry across, but the car swerved toward
him.
So he turned around and headed back toward the curb, and again, the car
changed direction to head toward him. The man was so scared he just froze
and stopped in the middle of the road. The car barely missed him and
screeched to a stop beside him. The window came down and there was a
squirrel behind the steering wheel. The squirrel said, "See, it's not as
easy as it looks, is it?"
Forgiveness is not as easy as it sounds either. In fact, it's impossible
without God's power. I've heard people say, "But I just CAN'T forgive
him/her for what they did to me." My reply is often, "You're right, you
can't,
but God can forgive them through you."
In order to truly forgive someone, you must make FOUR PROMISES:
1. I choose not to think about this incident. Remember, it's impossible to
forget it, but you can choose not to think about it.
2. I do not want to harm you for this incident. This is your willingness
to
release them from your desire to take revenge on them. People often
misunderstand this point. If someone committed a crime against you,
forgiveness doesn't prevent you from allowing the law to execute justice.
But forgiveness requires you do not personally become the judge, jury, and
executioner for what they've done.
3. I will not bring up this incident again. This promise would heal many
marriage wounds. One husband told a friend, "When my wife and I argue, she
gets historical." His friend said, "Do you mean hysterical?" The husband
said, "No, she gets historical-she brings up all the mistakes I've ever
made." When God forgives our sin, he buries them in the depths of the sea
and he never goes fishing for them. When you forgive someone, don't keep
resurrecting the incident.
4. I will not allow this incident to stand between us. True forgiveness
wipes the slate clean and a broken relationship can be restored. That's
what
happens when God forgives us. Our sin has separated us from God and His
forgiveness removes the wall of separation so we can have a personal
relationship with Him.
Now, having examined these four promises, I know some of you are asking,
"But what if the person who has hurt me doesn't want to have a
relationship
with me? What if that person doesn't ask for my forgiveness, should I
still
forgive them?" That leads to this important principle:
5. FORGIVENESS IS NOT THE SAME AS RECONCILIATION
Some Christians torture themselves because they think they haven't truly
forgiven someone because they haven't been reconciled with that person.
Here's
the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness
requires
one who offers grace. And reconciliation requires two (grace given and
accepted). It's true of God's grace. God unilaterally offers grace and
forgiveness to everyone on this planet because He wants to be reconciled
with every sinner. But does that mean everyone on the planet will accept
His
grace? Sadly, no. Reconciliation with God occurs when we repent of our sin
and accept His graceful offer of salvation. God doesn't require that we
come
crawling to Him before He offers forgiveness-His invitation is for us to
"come just as we are."
Grace is unmerited favor. Grace is giving someone what they need, not what
they deserve. If someone has wounded you, they don't deserve to be
forgiven.
Grace forgives them anyway. You don't have to wait for them to come
crawling
to you to beg you for forgiveness, you can choose to unilaterally forgive
them. Hopefully they will accept your forgiveness and your relationship
will
be reconciled. But there is the possibility they will reject your offer of
forgiveness. If they do, there will be no reconciliation, but you have
done
all God has required of you. The Bible says, "If it is possible, as far as
it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my
friends, but leave room for God's wrath." (Romans 12:18-19) The Bible
doesn't
say you can live at peace with all people-that's why it says, "If it is
possible, as far as it depends on YOU, live at peace with everyone."
Sadly,
there are some people who reject your willingness to live at peace with
them. So, go ahead and forgive them, and move on.
I read of a Christian attorney who after reading some scriptures on
forgiveness, decided he would "forgive" some of the debts some of his
clients owed him. He drafted a letter explaining his decision and the
biblical basis for his decision and sent it to 17 clients who owed him
money
for more than six months. He sent the forgiveness letters by certified
mail.
Of the 17 letters he sent, 16 of them were returned to him unsigned and
undelivered. His clients refused to sign for the letters because they
assumed the lawyer was suing them to pay their debts. They didn't know the
letters were good news informing them of the cancellation of their debt.
The
lawyer didn't withdraw his offer, and when some of the clients later tried
to pay part of their debt they were amazed to discover their debt was
canceled! Others who never paid lived in fear of being sued, and they were
never reconciled with the lawyer.
That's why many people miss out on a relationship with God. He has sent
them
this wonderful love letter called the Bible to let them know their debt of
sin can be cancelled, but they don't even read it. God offers forgiveness
to
everyone, but reconciliation is dependent on acceptance of His grace.
6. FORGIVENESS IS NOT ONLY GOOD FOR THE OFFENDER-IT HEALS THE ONE WHO
FORGIVES
There are basically three reasons why you should forgive others: (1)
Because
God commands it; (2) Because God has forgiven you; and (3) Because
forgiveness is good for you. People who refuse to forgive, hurt
themselves.
Bitter people can't sleep. Ulcers line their stomach. Their blood pressure
rises. They see the negative in every situation because their life is
polluted with these feelings of resentment and anger. People who are
unwilling to forgive may feel they are punishing the other person but the
only person paying the price is themselves. It's good to BE forgiven, but
it's
also good to forgive. If you are harboring a grudge toward someone who has
wounded you, do yourself a favor: forgive them.
There is an ancient Chinese proverb that says, "If you pursue revenge,
then
dig two graves." Using that analogy, maybe you need to take a trip out to
the Cemetery of Forgiveness. Then make a list of all the evil, sins,
faults
and mistakes people have committed to you hurt you. Then dig a hole in the
ground and bury those sins forever. And never dig them up again. The
person
who wounded you doesn't even need to attend the funeral-go ahead and bury
them. In so doing, you are setting yourself free from the misery and
torment
over what they have done to you.
CONCLUSION
Corrie Ten Boom was imprisoned by the Nazis during World War II because
her
family provided a hiding place for Jews when they were being arrested. She
and her sister Betsy were sent to Ravensbruk where horrible torture, rape,
and death occurred on a regular basis. Betsy died in the prison camp, but
Corrie miraculously survived. She became an effective Christian author and
speaker. In 1947 she was invited to speak in Munich, Germany. That
evening,
she spoke on the topic of forgiveness-how God buries our sins in the
depths
of the sea. After her talk she was approached by a man who looked familiar
to her. With horror she recognized him as one of the cruelest guards at
the
concentration camp. She remembered the shame of walking naked in front of
this very man. Suddenly all the fear and hatred returned in a flash.
He said to her, "In your talk you mentioned Ravensbruk. I was a guard
there.
But since that time, I have become a Christian. I know that God has
forgiven
me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from you
as
well, Fraulein." He held out his hand to Corrie and said, "Will you
forgive
me?"
Corrie wrote about that encounter:
"It could not have been many seconds that he stood there, hand held out,
but
to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had
ever
had to do. I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But
forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of
the temperature of the heart.
'Jesus, help me!' I prayed silently. 'I can lift my hand. I can do that
much. You supply the feeling.' And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my
hand into the one stretched out to me.
And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my
shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this
healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
'I forgive you, brother!' I cried. 'With all my heart!' For a long moment
we
grasped each other's hands, the former guard and former prisoner. I had
never known God's love so intensely as I did then. (Tramp for the Lord,
pp.
55-57)
Like Corrie Ten Boom, we have been offered forgiveness by God, so we
should
be willing to forgive others. We can't do it alone, but with God's power,
we
can forgive those who have hurt us. Do yourself a favor, if someone has
wounded you, don't let them continue to torture you-release them with your
forgiveness.
Try an experiment on the pain of bitterness and the pleasure of
forgiveness.
Take your right hand and make a tight fist. Squeeze as hard as you can.
After only a few seconds it will become painful. Imagine what it would
feel
like to maintain that tight grip for days, weeks, months, or years. That's
what unforgiveness does to your heart. You may not feel it physically, but
when you hold onto the sins and shortcomings of others, it hurts you.
Remember, the word forgiveness means "to release." Go ahead, release your
fist, doesn't it feel better? That's what forgiveness can do for you.
Remember, "To err IS human; to forgive feels divine!"
|
