I posed a pre-GCSE science paper to Dimwit to actually try to ascertain his
level of scientific understanding or lack of it. A selection of some of
his
answers are shown below:
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants
like grit , sand , dead sheep , heathans, and canoeists .
-
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun ****nes down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
-
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
-
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon symbolising the
fight between God and Satan . All water tends to flow towards the moon ,
because there is no water on the moon , and nature hates a vacuum. I
forget
where the sun joins in this fight . Ergo the sun is not a god .
-
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs .
-
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old , so do your bowels and you get intercontinental .
-
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
-
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death . Jesus says our body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit
rather than Nicotine .
